The Astronomy Tower
by scribbler567
Summary: Set at the begining of Deathly Hallows when Snape first takes over Hogwarts. One shot of Snape standing on the place where he killed Dumbledore. A surprising person stops him from doing something rash. Rated just to be safe, thoughts of suicide.


**A/N: Hi guys! So I know I have to update "When Life Claims You" still, and I'm working on it. But, this came to me randomly and I started to write it. So here's a one shot that I hope you enjoy! Read and Review!**

The Astronomy Tower. The large tower rose above the place so many had called home; the place so many still called home. Although the cold environment couldn't be considered the ideal home now, it was all that some had. It had once been all that he had, but now even that was gone. Surrounding it, miles and miles of hills rolled, stretching out across the countryside. The usually green grass seemed a gray color, as did the sky above. For years it had been one of the only parts of the castle untouched by evil demons, bad characters, or horrendous events. It was the place where the sun could be seen setting in wondrous, vivid colors, and rising the same way. But now…now death had claimed that place as well.

The Tower had been claimed by death through the hands of one man. He had committed the deed; he had taken the life… and he stood there now, paying the price.

A stale breeze blew by, but it wasn't followed by another gust. It was nighttime, but no stars shone, only the remnants of the dark mark cast by Bellatrix Lestrange weeks before remained. The lights cast by all of the grieving souls the night of the Headmaster's death had long faded, having lasted only a moment while the pain would last a lifetime.

And he had caused the pain. Each heart that broke, each child, each woman, each man that had cried, cried because of him. That itself exceeded the grief of the death he had created.

Of course it hadn't been his choice to kill his only friend; he had been forced by multiple forces- the forces that controlled his life. They, all opposing each other, pulled in different directions, towards different goals, but all had pulled for one common cause: the death of Albus Dumbledore.

Severus, the murderer himself, gripped tighter to the railing he had been holding and looked down to where Albus had fallen to his death. His hands still shook as they had once he had lowered his wand after casting the Killing Curse, and his head still ached. The Tower above where the body had been found, and he shut his eyes, trying to imagine the old man having to fall so far to have peace, though his heart must have stopped to beat already by that time. In honesty, the thought appealed to Severus: falling slowly as you were overtaken by an endless sleep that would make everything go away.

He was of no use anymore. Albus was gone, Voldemort at his most powerful, and he was now the enemy of all his colleagues and students. It wasn't that he had ever been liked among any of them, but now he was a traitor, a murderer to them all. And, despite knowing none of these things were true, Severus believed it of himself as well.

For the first time since Lily's death, Severus wept. Large tears rolled down his cheeks, burning the battered skin there. Sobs escaped his mouth, his body trembling as he leaned further over the railing. His hands trembled harder, his body jerking with each sob he released. The tears of a lifetime escaped him within minutes, and he slipped his feet into the spaces in the railing. He looked over the edge. He couldn't see the ground, and that thrilled him. For once he would be taking a path, unaware of where it led, knowing only that for once he would be at peace.

As the last of his tears subsided, he heard the door open behind him. Immediately he panicked, but before he could jump the footsteps stopped right behind him. Turning around, Severus came face to face with an emotionless Transfiguration Mistress. "I see that I can't even mourn properly over the death of my husband," she said flatly. "I'll be going then."

The witch turned on her heel, her hair swept up even tighter than usual. She was a shrewd woman, stubborn, uptight, and almost impossible to reason with. "You believe I'm like a dictator, do you, Minerva?"

The witch turned back to face him, her face and voice both calm. "I once read in a Muggle history book about a man named Adolf Hitler. Under his rule thousands were tortured and killed. He was considered a dictator. Since you have taken control of this school, seventh years are being forced to place the Cruciatus Curse on first years. And the curious thing is that like Hitler, you are too much of a coward to do any of this yourself. You've hired the Carrows to do it all for you." She took a breath, not deep, not dramatic. "I've read my history, Severus, both Wizarding and Muggle. If you aren't close to a dictator, then I'm not quite sure what is."

Severus knew that on any other day, he would be in a rage for the woman infuriated him so. She was so blunt, so bold, and yet always managed to quell her emotions until they were undetectable. If he were to lash out, it would only make him appear irrational. He too was known for his composed exterior, and he wished to remain that way. But that evening he wanted to just have solitude. She had interrupted his peace, his last chance at peace, and she was making accusations without knowing the truth. He could feel his hands shaking harder, ready to reach for his wand. However, no matter how much he hated Minerva's accusations, he couldn't blame her for being so harsh. He had killed her husband, her best friend, and had betrayed everyone's trust. He didn't know how to respond, so he simply remained silent, turning back to look over the edge of the railing.

"Afraid, Severus?" she asked. "You killed him, but now you're afraid to face the truth."

Another tear rolled down his cheek, and he cursed himself aloud, wiping it away. "If you do not leave me, then I will ask the Carrows to deal with you." He turned, now dry-eyed, to face her once more. She was standing, arms crossed before her, eyes gleaming. "You've seen what they can do, so I suggest you obey my orders."

"I do not need to obey anyone's orders," she retorted. "If you are so furious with me, then duel me right here. I'll draw my wand, you draw yours, and you can face me yourself like a real man."

"Stop trying to prove yourself, Minerva."

The witch drew her wand from her robes, walking until she stood right before him. She ever so carefully pointed it at his neck, probing slightly with her steadied hand. "I'm not trying to prove myself; I have no need to do so. But, I want to fight you myself. As I understand, Albus didn't even have a chance to battle against you for he was already disarmed by the time you got to him. I want to fight you, Severus Snape. I want to duel you, and if you do kill me, then I want to die knowing that I fought against the biggest traitor this school has seen." Pressing the tip of her wand further into his neck, their eyes met. "I want to be so close to you that I see the guilt in your eyes." The green orbs looking up at him were full of anger, and he swallowed hard, wondering if it was too late to jump.

"I'm not going to fight you, Minerva," he replied, reaching his hand out and pressing her arm down to her side. Her eyes widened when he touched her, yet she didn't struggle against him. "And I suggest that you think rationally about this. If you fought me, I could easily kill you. As you have just reminded me, I did it before. What makes you think I can't easily do it again?"

The corner of her mouth twitched. "Have you forgotten that I too could easily kill you?"

Rolling his eyes, Severus turned back to the railing. "Just go, Minerva."

"Turn around and face me, Severus!" she shouted. He had rarely heard her raise her voice, and it startled him. Her voice was shrill and strong, yet there was a hint of desperation buried deep within it. She'd never let on about it, of course, but it was there.

Severus took a deep breath, wanting so badly to jump. If he jumped, then nobody would be his "master", nobody could blame him for things he didn't do, and he'd be alone forever. The fall was beginning to look shorter and shorter and much more alluring.

"You killed one man, why can't you kill me too?"

Balling his fists, he turned around to look her in the eye, backing up as far as he could against the railing. "I never wanted to kill Albus," he finally replied. "Your sacred husband knew about his death. He asked that I be the one to kill him."

Minerva froze, ("–") he wasn't even sure if she was breathing. She lowered her wand, tears visible in her eyes. "You're a liar!" she shouted, her voice hitching.

"Am I?" he asked, sitting on the railing, feeling suddenly calm for he knew what was about to come. "If I was lying, then I wouldn't need to worry about revealing that to you, would I? What I just told you ruined my cover." With that said, Severus leaned back and allowed himself to fall over the railing, just the way Albus had months before.

The fall was slow at first, and Severus closed his eyes, taking in the peace that suddenly came over him, knowing that at last he didn't have to worry about any of the pain or suffering he lived each day of his life. This sensation, however, lasted only a few moments because a scream, yes it was certainly a scream, erupted from above him. "Severus!" Opening one eye, Severus looked up to see Minerva leaning over the railing, her hair flying from its confinements, tears running visibly down her face. "Severus!"

Ignoring the woman screaming above him, he closed his eyes again and was sure that he was going to be hitting the ground soon when he felt a familiar feeling come over his body as someone shouted, "Imperio!"

He no longer had control over himself, but he was slowly climbing himself back up the tower. The Dark Lord had used the curse on him so many times before, so it wasn't something he was unaccustomed to. However, for the first time nothing he was doing was inflicting pain on himself or anyone else, and that made it an almost enjoyable experience, that is, if it hadn't been interrupting his last chance at peace.

In a matter of minutes, he was sitting on the ground of the Astronomy Tower, the curse no longer controlling him. Severus just sat, refusing to look up at Minerva, embarrassed at her having seen his suicide attempt. He could hear Minerva sit beside him, but he refused to look at her, turning his head further. A hand, trembling uncontrollably, reached out and touched his shoulder. "Severus?" she asked quietly. The Headmaster ignored her. "You know that I couldn't let you do that to yourself, no matter how angry I am."

Sighing, he faced her, knowing that he was indeed acting like a child. "Please leave."

She rubbed his shoulder softly, the first time that someone had touched him gently in years. On instinct, he pulled away, but when he realized that she wasn't going to hurt him, he looked into her eyes, seeing that all the anger from minutes before had vanished. It was still there, buried deep, but a sort of compassion had taken its place. "I won't hurt you, you know?"

"Why did you do that?" he asked, feeling his head spin from dizziness. "After all I've done…"

Minerva sighed and let her head fall back against the wall. "I suppose that I had a feeling you were telling the truth about Albus." She was breathing heavily, and he didn't know what gave him the urge, but he reached out and rubbed her back softly.

She too flinched when he touched her so gently, and their eyes met. "You believe me then?"

"I do," she replied softly. "I don't want to, but I do." She paused before continuing. "You're such an easy person to blame, Severus, and I—"

"Why thank you, Minerva," he smirked sarcastically.

"If you would let me finish a damn sentence!" she exclaimed, running her hands through her hair. "I didn't want to think that Albus would ever want himself killed. I don't understand why..." Severus looked closely at the witch, surprised when tears were welling in her eyes. "Why, Severus, why the hell did he want to die? And why didn't he tell me?" Her voice hitched, and he realized it was the first time that he'd ever seen her so emotional. A few of the tears fell, but she wiped them away stubbornly.

Severus had planned on dying, taking his own life, and falling to silence at last. When he had confessed to Minerva that he had been asked by Dumbledore to kill him, he hadn't thought out the consequences of telling her. He figured that since he would be dead, there would be no need to explain. That's when he realized that that had been selfish. Minerva was Albus' wife, and she deserved to know what had happened. "Minerva, I'll tell you, but you have to trust me. You have to truly have faith in me."

The older witch swallowed hard. "Severus, I just don't understand." More tears were streaming down her face, and she sobbed a little, covering her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, but I haven't been able to cry since he died."

Severus blinked, allowing his eyes to shut longer than need be. When he did open them, he saw the face of his former teacher streaked with tears, and sobs slowly erupted from her. "I wish to retire for the night. If you would like to talk about this, then meet me in my office tomorrow night at nine." His voice was cold once more, and he stood up from where he had been sitting. Severus extended his hand, and Minerva hesitantly accepted it. Once she was standing, Minerva didn't let go of his hand at first, but squeezed his gently.

"I trust you," she said at last, her composed mask back up over her face. "If you were going to throw yourself over that railing, and Albus had asked you to kill him, I can't blame you." Severus widened his eyes, squeezing her hand in return. "I may have lost my husband, but I am a sensible woman. I'm not going to lash out hysterically." She slid her hand out from his and began towards the stairs, but turned when she reached them. "That is, unless you really are one of _them_. Then, you'll be facing hell." She smiled gently, something he rarely saw her do. "I'll be in your office tomorrow night, Severus." With that, the witch was gone.

Severus turned back to look over the railing, this time not wanting to jump. It amazed him how talking to Minerva had made him abandon all the horrific ideas he had been having before. It wasn't that he cared for her, that wasn't the case at all, but she had given him a purpose once more. And, this purpose was one that was for good. He needed to inform her of her husband's death and make sure that she understood. Minerva needed to know that he was on their side, that he hadn't wanted to kill Albus, and that he wasn't a traitor. He trusted her. He knew that she wouldn't reveal his identity if he asked her not to. In fact, he knew that she would in fact help him, so long as she truly felt he had changed.

Those thoughts were enough to keep both of his feet planted firmly on the ground.


End file.
